Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Yesterday morning I took the universally disliked glucose tolerance test to see if I have developed gestational diabetes. This is one test I have been dreading for months. And given my penchant for sweets since getting pregnant, I was pretty nervous about whether I would pass or not.

I arrived at the lab around 8am, they took some blood, and then I had to drink a large plastic cup of a bright orange, super sugary, thankfully cold beverage. It tasted something like the cheap orange drink you can get in grocery stores, but it was as though they had forgotten that the cup they gave me was supposed to be diluted with enough water to make an entire gallon jug of the stuff. The nice lady that gave it to me said I had 5 minutes to drink it and I thought, “Why would I want to take 5 minutes? This is clearly not the kind of beverage you sip on and enjoy.” So I chugged it. And that sweet woman called me a superstar.

Then I went and found a chair in a comfortable corner down the hallway from the lab, popped in my headphones and Men In Black 3 on my laptop, and let myself succumb to Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, and Josh Brolin. Now before you judge my movie choice, let me say that this film was chosen primarily for its ability to distract and entertain without requiring any significant amount of brain power rather than its stellar storyline or thought-provoking, emotionally charged performances. And it was just the trick. Even though I felt a little woozy at times, the next hour passed quickly and soon enough it was time to pause the human vs. alien battle to go give some more blood. It wasn’t until I stood up and started to walk back to the lab that I realized how weird I felt. I was a bit unsteady on my feet and I definitely felt woozy, but it still wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. No raging headache, no desire to lash out at strangers, no throwing up. “At least not yet,” I thought. “Does this get worse?”

After round two of the blood draws, I settled back in with my movie and made myself as comfortable as possible. The next hour felt a bit longer, but still went by rather easily as I watched Agents J and K try to change the course of history. With only about 10 minutes left in the movie, I had to pause it yet again for my final blood draw. I didn’t feel nearly as woozy and weird when I got up this time and it was a relief to know the test was over as the gauze pad was packed into the crook of my arm and strapped there with medical tape. As I sat down in my cozy corner to watch the final scenes of the film, I unpacked my snack of sharp cheddar cheese, crackers, and an apple and I chowed down. It took a little while, but eventually my vacant gaze at the screen as the credits rolled started to sharpen and I began to feel more like myself again.

I got home around 11:30am and then immediately felt unbearably tired, so I took a nap. But other than the barely noticeable headache and extreme tiredness, I really didn’t feel much worse for the wear. After I got up, ate some more food, and relaxed for a bit, I really felt quite good. The cool, rainy morning had given way to a clear, blue-skied, balmy afternoon and I decided to go for a walk. It was truly lovely outside and I thoroughly enjoyed being able to take advantage of it and get some exercise. Of course, I kept thinking about the test and wondering when exactly I would find out if I was banned from sweet treats for the foreseeable future. But distraction had been the name of the game all day, so I kept at it.

Me, Zakk, and Emma (whom we are lucky to have visiting us right now) went to the Pacific Pie Co. for dinner. This delicious Aussie cafe serves up meat pies and other traditional fare, as well as the most delicious sweet pies in all of Portland. So after a rousing game of Mille Bornes (a French card game that Zakk and Emma apparently used to play as kids) and a lovely meal, I took a slice of rhubarb crumble pie home with us for dessert.

As luck would have it, I had an email indicating my test results were waiting when we got home. I wondered, “Should I eat the pie first and then check the test results? Or risk finding out that I failed the test and can’t eat the delicious pie that is waiting for me in a little brown box in the kitchen?”

Of course, I checked the test results first…

and then I celebrated by eating that delectable slice of pie.

Because baby girl and I are doing just fine, thank goodness!


  1. Mom says:

    Hooray, now we can have ice cream on the beach! I know Baby Girl Kuzda will like that! Or as cousin Rylie would say, Baby Grill Kuzda : )

  2. Dani says:

    Ahhh, the suspense! I’m glad that you don’t have to curb those sweet cravings of yours because I’d love to get together again soon for some treats on the town!

  3. Uncle Andy says:

    Kristin, Karen,

    Glad to hear the sweets have the doctor’s green light, but I’ve heard eating ice cream on the beach has recently been banned by the government.

    Something about the affordable healthcare act’s fight on obesity, combined with environmental activist’s renewed war to save our beaches. However, I’m pretty sure biodegradable fruits are still allowed.

    See you both next week in sunny Florida!

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